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Dear @Exoplanet
I love desert areas as well as wetlands. Nature in general is beautiful in so many of its manifestations. I particularly loved the red deserts of the Northern Territory, the richness and depth of that colour and the power I could almost feel vibrating in the earth. I could swear there was a hum. First five years of my life was spent on a cattle station on the edge of a desert area. From an early age landscapes that are flat to the horizon have had a special feeling for me, and are part of my dreams, day ones and night ones. I'm sure there are rugged beauties to where you are living. Tasmania is the only state in Australia I have yet to visit.
Good to hear your mouth has improved. I have one tooth throbbing now, not too severe but feels ominous. It's the lower back molar next to the one further back that I had out three months ago (and am still yet to fully recover from). If I need to lose this one too, I will have none on that back bottom side of my mouth. Them's the breaks, I guess. I am aging, therefore there it is natural my body breaking down, even if it's not much fun.
Mow mow mow your yard, good on you. I have read you talking about mowing many a time and imagine the area you need to mow as quite large. Cool that it has the side effect of inspiring a bit of a douse with water and soap for your body. Understandable about not being too keen to wash a dog that's about to jump back into mud.
So pleased to hear you are feeling contented even with the tiredness. Contentment is possibly one the best feelings in life. The Buddhists are big on it and I have come to value that more than temporary happiness. I had a 9-month stint somewhere around 2000/2001 when I was going to a Buddhist group meditation every week. I never became an official Buddhist but am drawn to some of the teachings. I find it more philosophical on a universal level than other religions I have encountered. In a sense, it is not a religion, in that Buddha is not actually a god.
Sleep well tonight, dear heart.
Lots of hugs and love,
Mazzy 
My magical Mazy @Mazarita ,
I don't think I've ever been to the desert, which is probably a bit crazy, I'd say the desert
is closer to me than the sea - but I don't like the heat & I like seeing water. I have a sibling,
pretty much estranged to me now, but one of the last trips they went on, well it went
straight past me. They put the photos up on facebook . . . & they were amazing! I also
don't have a 4WD & I'd say it's pretty dangerous getting stuck on some of the tracks I saw
in those photos! But your right, nature in general is beautiful ❤️ There are trees here,
gums & of all things pines {I think they're an introduced species}& even grass of a fashion
- very thin bladed & somewhat spiky. There are also farms out here, running the likes
of cattle, though I know that in recent years herds have had to be severely culled & many
generational family farms have totally fallen apart.
I was brought up in a wrecking yard, though our home wasn't part of the yard. So I often
feel nostalgic when I see certain cars or even a stripped wreck; the smell of grease mixed
with petrol & certain industrial hand cleaners bring back memories. It might sound weird,
I know my Father was a fierce man & in knowing that I felt safer as I believed nobody
else could harm me.
My mouth feels totally fine now, I had noticed the gum near the lonely tooth that I thought
had abscessed had damage, perhaps I had pierced it somehow & it has now healed. If
that's the case perhaps it won't reoccur? . . . I can only hope 🙂 I'm sorry to hear you have
a throbbing tooth, particularly as you still haven't fully recovered from your last extraction!
I have no back teeth on the bottom, one lonely one on one side at the top & two on the
other - yet I still have all my front ones? 🙂 Here's a gentle nag, good old fashioned salt
water does marvels with the mouth 😉 Being a fellow smoker, I know it has to be done
quite regularly, at least once a day if not 2 or 3 times. Not too strong with the salt, I use
a level teaspoon in a coffee cup of boiling water - let it cool & away I go.
Mowing is a constant summer task, I really am past it; my house yard isn't that big, I think
its something like 30x40 meters - not too large considering I have 20 acres, yet it still
takes me 3 or 4 goes, doing a little each afternoon, to get it done. The new mower is
lighter, therefore easier to manoeuvre & does seem to make the task a little easier. I have
also put a bunch of old tyres down on a film of black plastic out the front to stop the grass
growing there, so the area is a little less. My idea was to fill the tyres with dirt, top them
with concrete & fill the in between tyre areas with gravel . . . hahaha - I haven't gotten very
far with that, but the tyres hold the plastic down & it's stopping the grass from growing 🙂
Summer will end though & so will my dousing, but I figure I don't sweat as much in
winter so it's not as necessary 🙂 I've noticed the Staffy hasn't gone mud skipping since
I've washed him, he must appreciate the cleaner comfort. I gave the little fella & myself
a hair cut yesterday & we both feel better for it; particularly the poor little fella who gets
prickles in the form of sharp grass seeds, stuck in his fur {particularly his feet} & they
seem to burrow in & stick into his skin {poor bugger, I found 3 sore spots!} Those guys
are my greatest source of motivation, they're why I mow the yard & why I bathe & get
out the clippers . . . me & my place would be a mess without them!
I had my first night without prescribed sleep assist last night & I slept fine 🙂 I self impose
only a week of that assistance, well 8 days actually, as I take 1/2 a pill each night & would
be left with a half that would likely get lost by the time I used them again. It seems after
a week my natural sleep pattern kicks back in, usually for months {unless something
happens, like I decide to go on an adventure for instance 🙂 } The tiredness is subsiding,
but the feeling of contentment is still there & is likely to remain for some time. I may
find myself looking through photos to remind myself that I do do it, I do get out there
& see the beauty that nature has to offer; one of my favourites is water - large bodies of
it!
Did you know that Budda's birth was apparently completely painless & from what I
remember reading Buddha left his pregnant wife to go & do his Buddha thing - that doesn't
seem very . . . morally right? Not that I'm against any of it, just found the story a bit odd?
Mind you I imagine there's many, many interpretations & I read only one. I do think just
looking at someone who practices Buddhism is calming, it's like they radiate a positive
energy from somewhere deep within themselves?
Well I'm off to town today, I allow myself one trip a week. I get some fresh food, I've
got a parcel to pick up from the post office {a mouse pad I think, reckon I was kidding
myself & it's actually a new mouse that I need - this one keeps freezing!} & I have to
return my dvds to the library {which reminds me, gotta get online & order a bunch more
as I'm out!}.
I hope you receive love & laughter today ❤️ & remember salt water does marvels for the
mouth!
Lots of love to you Mazy
@Exoplanet thank you for thinking me magic. You know I feel you to be a true wise woman.
I understand the love of water. Even artistically the way water moves and reflects light is fascinating and beautiful, calming. When I first got here from down south I remember one special walk on a long wide beach here, at the edge of the water watching it ripple and flow in ever-changing patterns. I walked for some time in that peaceful trance. I love the kind of places you go too, creeks, rocks, stones, trees, life galore. I am very heat sensitive though.
Yeah you'd want to be prepared to drive into the desert. I got there on a bus and another time a flight in to Uluru.
Sad about the farmers there. There must be so many farmers in Australia hurting. Where a friend lives in country Victoria, generational farmers have in more recent times sub-divided the lands and have other jobs, though they grew up to be farmers and were doing it from childhood. It seems like almost a vocation to me, providing food for the nation.
Wow, a wrecking yard. Interesting place to be a child. Maybe not glamorous, but I could imagine a child having some playing in a place like that. From a child I always liked the smell of petrol coming from the pumps.
I guess I felt safe around my Dad in some ways for similar reasons. I also feared him from about age 3 to the moment of his death. Inside me I am lucky to feel the best of him close to me, and the best of him was wonderful. He suffered a great deal mentally, more than Mum and I in my estimation.
Awesome that your tooth has healed itself. Mine may have done the same, couple of days without pain now. Your words did make me do at least one salt wash and it probably helped. I was salt water washing the mouth a fair bit when the molar next to it was pulled over three months ago. I still do it occasionally. Pretty constant with the prescription level fluoride toothpase every night before bed. That has definitely slowed the decay that was happening with my teeth. I read somewhere that every day salt water was not advised. It seems like a very good idea in terms of natural healing and slowing decay.
Good to hear you have a new mower that makes the job a bit easier. Cool that the staffy like the wash so much he hasn't gone rolling in mud immediately. I wonder if he has by the time you read this. 
That prescribed sleep routine for 8 days - awesome that it works! Good sleep for months, followed by another week of prescribed sleep and then back to it. My sleep is complicated and the short term pills plan did really nothing. I maybe got a half hour more than usual, not always!
I am so happy to hear that the contentment feeling after your camping trips lasts for some time. A blessing. Nature the healer of body and mind. ❤️
If Buddha left his wife while pregnant, it does seem she was badly treated. It was so long ago I was learning about Buddhism so may have the details and names wrong. I think Buddha's name before he became referred to as Buddha, was Sidhartha? What I heard was that he was from a big wealthy family and left that behind for the spiritual path. Perhaps his wife and child were cared for by others in that wealthy environment?
Honestly, though, this is a bit of Chinese Whispers with my memory of Buddhism!
I used to love going to group meditations. I joined one hindu-based sect for a couple of months in my 20s, but the rest of the time I went to group meditations with different groups during those years, without becoming a devotee.
Mice for computers are very cheap where I am and probably on eBay too, I think. I bought one for C's birthday recently. It's a fancy ergonomic one, cost $14. The simple ones would possibly be less? I imagine you will have had your shopping trip as I'm replying now. Hope you are enjoying the bounty. 
Wonder what DVDs you are watching. C and I are watching a series with only a few episodes to go, called Miracle Workers. I find it really funny (not a common thing for me and TV shows) and philosophical. Kind of black comedy but heart warming as well. 🙂
Guessing you will be asleep when I press post on this. Hope tomorrow is good one for you.
Love and hugs,
Mazzy
Good morning @Exoplanet.
I missed seeing this latest post from you but found it now. 
Missing appointments is something I do a fair bit of, because I'm just not up to it, too ragged, too tired or can't face the world outside the front door. On occasions I miss ringing them to cancel at all, maybe because I've slept through it with my weird hours. Each time I cancel in any of these ways, I worry about it, feel awkward, embarrassed and a bit hopeless in general. Recovery from these feelings is much faster than it used to be, thank goodness. Hope that awkward feeling has passed for you by now. Not rushing there in a panic was the best choice in the circumstances, I think.
Did an amazing recorded hypnosis yesterday, heart opening and soothing to my spirit. I hardly ever do things like that. Planning to listen again today. May post it on the forum if I am still feeling it second time. Thought I might sleep well last night but only four hours of somewhat disturbed sleep only so far. Will be going back to bed again fairly soon.
Three days with appointments following today. Hair cut on Tuesday (I now have a short bob). NDIS meeting with the woman who secured it for me on Wednesday. And Thursday going to a country town over the border where a friend lives. Planning to do a very big thing that night: read my poetry in public for the first time. Started learning one of the poems by heart yesterday. Friday I will probably be recovering!! 
Hope the coming days and nights treat you well.
Gidday Mazy @Mazarita
I love geckos too, yay for the solo beach walk - I hope it was as peaceful as it looks
My heads starting to settle a bit, missing that appointment really put me off, even though to be honest I preferred missing it! I've ordered a little travel alarm clock from ebay but I'm hoping I won't hear from them again
Still haven't heard from my sister, I sent an email yesterday so maybe today? I hope everything went ok for her husband, even though he's a typical man . . . he's her typical man & it would be devastating for her if they's something really seriously wrong.
Hope all your appointments went well, I too think getting some support workers would be greatly beneficial for you!
Lots of love to you Mazy
