Lived Experience Forum

[Exoplanet]

Hello @Sophia1 
Thank you for your message
My place wasn't touched by the fire, it was stopped just down the road. I went for a drive when I got back & saw endless paddocks of black poles - they were the trunks left from the tree . . . & there is nothing else left. I saw a home that had burnt down, it was one that would be classed a 'shack', but there's lots of shacks out here that are someone's home. I feel for what you went through, for me, the feeling of things not being real becomes very strong. These days I have feeling that I'm not real, I can't believe my Daughter has cut communications to me again, because I asked her to sell the car I took a loan out with her to get, & now she's in different circumstances & can't afford it. Christmas was chaos, a source of yet more anxiety & depression. I'm so over everything.
Sorry, I'm struggling a bit too. I'm ok & it was great to get a message from you.
You take care too Sophia1, lots of love to you. 

Content/trigger warning

[Sophia1]

Hello @Exoplanet 

Apologies about my late reply....

nothing to do with you..more about my feeling able to be on this site as silly as it might seem to many...

I have been all over the place for so long and absent for periods of time..

I have had to do this as part of my own self care plan...

Reading your last post when I finally arrived back was distressing.,.

As easy as it is for me to say...you are not responsible for your daughter's behaviour...

trust me...I am dealing with the guilt that goes along with this currently with my family member...hence on here at this time responding to you..

You are an excellent mum...yes you are probably questioning this...we mums do this...you are though..her reasons for stepping back probably have nothing to do with you and are more about her....who knows?

main thing is that you have been a wonderful mum despite your situation...no question there..

so what can exoplanet do now...be the same exoplanet who looks after her fur babies...

lives one day at a time...my motto which works for me

Exoplanet you have been an incredible example of how people can continue on...survive..make a life for themselves...travel to places where they can meditate...feel relaxed and most importantly feel safe..

You have been an embassador for this ...

You are respected and loved on these forums by many...

You are very real regardless of how people in your life treat you.. they need to be responsible for their own behaviour..you have nothing to do with that..

You are still the beautiful, strong, independant warrior that so many on here have become to love and follow your exciting adventures..

Should you rest we are all still here beside you..

I might not be on the website every day..

regardless you are and always will be important to me...I sincerely can say that I think about you in my real life.

You do matter to me and I am sure to others.

Sophia

[Exoplanet]

Hello @Sophia1 ,

No apologies necessary, your reply is neither late nor early . . . it's your most welcome reply 🙂
I think you letting me know your having trouble being on this site is brave & honest & I really appreciate it 
Sorry you haven't been well & glad you know when & how to plan for your own care, it's vitally important!
I'm sorry you were distressed when you read my post, but I'm also honoured; that you would feel such a closeness & understanding of my situation.
Thank you 

I also feel for what your going through. It's draining, emptying.
I know I have loved her, her entire life - & I know she does with me; as I'm sure it is with your family members situation.It just gets complicated. Each one of us have complicated lives, no wonder when we get together so many of us end up complete messes!
I am looking after my puppies, living one day at a time - don't mind if I share that motto, it works for me too 🙂
Thank you so much for your beautiful words, for expressing so strongly such postitive things. I return your respect & love. you are important to me also, the connection we share on this forum has given me a lift up from feeling very heavy. Thank you  
Exoplanet.

[Sophia1]

Hello @Exoplanet 

A lovely response..thank you from the bottom of my heart as I know that you are going through and have been so very much...

the fires across this country have been relentless and the whole world is starting to notice...

my cousin in the UK has been watching the news for updates..

He intends to write to the prime minister to ask her to donate to Australia...

Passionate and relentless like myself....I was so proud to read those words when he wrote to me...

We had strong smoke in the air late last night and early this morning..

I do hope that you are safe now..

I hope that this whole country wakes up to the fact that we have to be better prepared not just individually but as communities...

Families!!

I can honestly say that I think that every family has issues...some keep it swept under the carpet so to speak...which was always the case in my family...

what have I learnt from this?  

My family members as in mum and twin are unable to make the first move...so I do...I now look at it differently so that I do not feel disrespected whatever...I look at it as I see the need to communicate and want to so I do in a general way..

that satisfies my need...most times I get a response...first response usually sounding like a relief from their end...next back to the same old same old...no matter...I did what I needed to do..

You only do what you need to do for you now exoplanet...if it helps you send a message that helps you...if it does not help you to do so...let it go for now...tomorrow is another day...

one day at a time...we agreed on that didn't we..

I also know that you very much miss @Mazarita 

think of her as doing what she needs to do for her at this time...nothing to do with you or anyone else on these forums..

nothing can take away or erase the strong, loving friendship that you shared...you hold onto that...

I must be off to bed now...

do look after yourself and your beautiful fur babies

you are important you know...tell yourself that please starting now...

perhaps I will remind you every time that I write to you..'

although I need to be careful here with my memory ..

so others reading...passing by..

help me out here please...

remind exoplanet how important she is please...

🤎I am feeling close to the earth since moving next to my heritage tree....beautiful...

xx

[greenpea]

@Exoplanet 

[eth]

Hi @Exoplanet   So sorry to hear about the difficult challenges you've been dealt recently.  Thank goodness for the forums and the support and appreciation you have here.  And for your ability to share so poignantly what's going on.

I've been away from my computer whilst on holiday and am still getting caught up on the forums despite being home since Tuesday evening.

Sending all my warmest wishes to you and the strength to keep on keeping on being your authentic self.  You are awesome xx

[outlander]

@Exoplanet 

[Shaz51]

Sending you lots of hugs my @Exoplanet , thinking of you lots xxxxxx 

[Exoplanet]

I see experiences in life like a blizzard of snow balls, they have a way of starting off light & fluffy, but ending up heavy & harmful. When all those heavy harmful snow balls clump together, making giant sharp icebergs, that you have to avoid or you'll end - & those icebergs are pounding down on you with the power of a blizzard; the only place you have to hide is in those fallen icebergs, sheltering in
the caves created when large chunks break away as the iceberg hits the ground nearby. As you shelter in the very thing you must avoid, that is being slowly shattered by the continuing pounding of other icebergs, you notice that when broken the ice-bergs don't return to being snowballs, they never again have a light & fluffy way; instead they systematically shatter into tiny sharp shards. Those shards surround you, as such trapping you; if your to reach another iceberg for shelter, you will have hurt your feet.

[Exoplanet]

It's raining! It's not exactly pouring
I'm not an old man & I hope I wasn't snoring!
But the ground is wet
& the fence wire has droplets
& it's not hot
. . . & I like it a lot 😄