I once heard from a psychologist that the true definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. I guess that means I am crackers, totally lost it. I know in my heart of hearts, he'll never change. I wish he would make up his mind. You see, he dangles that carrot of love and acceptance in front of me obviously knowing I'll take the bait. He says when he makes all these perverted plans that he cares about me and stupidly I fall for it each time, hoping it will be different (it never is).
You are right @utopia, he won't change really. I've got to stop hoping that he will have a change of heart, when he hasn't for 26 years. I guess I've got to just let him go, as much as it hurts. I've been through too many years of therapy trying to process the final loss of family. I have no brother (he's dead), no mother (she's dead). I guess to my Father, I died a long time ago (or at least that's how I am treated).
No, it doesn't get any easier or better @Phoenix_Rising. My Mrs is refusing to have much to do with me because she believes I need to just block him so he can't call or text me (give him a taste of my life). The only reason I keep in contact is because he's all I have from my side of the family. It's just hard, especially at this time of year when everyone is playing happy families).
