31-07-2019 07:36 PM
I would like to be clear i am not recommending anything here just reffering to my own experiences. anyway I am not on meds and will not go back on them they nearly ruined my life for good and i am still suffering form the effects of them after nearly a year off them. I am not sure what to do though I am aware that no current option psychiatry is offering is a good option for me i will not do ECT that is not something i am ok with and again meds are a big huge NO also as some may know i am still waiting for a psychologist so at this point in time that is not possible either. I was wondering if anyone has any good tips for self managing psychosis stuff.... I have currently been ignoring everything like anytime something happens i just ignore it and pretend it didnt happen even if it is really bothering me but of course that isnt the best solution and i also realised that maybe more stuff has been happening than i had first thought. nothing like unsafe or anything but just thinking things and kind of not really noticing that maybe they were weird. idk like i know other people wouldnt believe some of the things but i still do and idk if it is even a problem but i am just worried what if it gets bigger. like i still believe a lot of the things i used to but i just feel like now i am not allowed to talk about it or let anyone know that i do because that would not be good for me. it is hard to explain but idk is it best to just keep pretending cause that is tired but if i have too then i guess that is it.....
31-07-2019 07:49 PM
@Eden1919 Hi Eden1919 . Well unfortunately if I am not on meds or if I decrease them just a lil bit I go totally insane. Which is why I take the stupid things. I cant think of anything to help because when I do go into a psychosis I dont even have self awareness enough to stop my actions so everything just goes out of control.
I can't help at all just wanted to say hi and let you know that we all care about you and wish you well x
31-07-2019 08:08 PM
@greenpea thats ok thanks. idk it is hard because people say well i can see what is psychosis or not which has been a question over my having it or not but i find this hard to sort through because on one had and if i am genuinely honest i dont believe i have psychosis or ever did BUT i am always and always have been very aware that my beliefs are different to others and that others wouldnt believe my beliefs so i have learnt to keep quiet mostly and that there are certain things i dont share as well as learning how to look reasonably normal. but this isnt because i dont think that what i experience is true it is just that i accept that truth is different for everyone and that i dont think there is one thing more true than another and that it is more to me about being free to have your own experience than it is to try and force others to be like you. so i dont try and convince anyone of my beliefs nor do i really appreciate being forced to believe anothers beliefs without a genuine reason to other than because they think it is right.
but i do genuinely believe things about the world and life and stuff that others think is crazy and while i know they think it is crazy and i know why they think that i also still believe what i believe. but i dont know if my acceptance of others differences in belief is equal to insight because if i was truly psychotic then i would still believe this and the fact that i knew why it shouldnt be real but didnt believe that would mean i didnt actually have insight by deffinition... if that makes any sense because to have insight as it is defiened would aslo mean i had to accept that i had psychosis if infact my beliefes were 'crazy' but i dont genuinely believe i do and i only really use the word for conveniance because it is easier to talk to others using the term psychosis than it is to explain my entire and kind of complicated belief system each time i want to referance something. so i genuinely dont know about that. like either i am crazy and dont know it or i am right but also quite frankly it is hard because i technically have just as much proof of my beliefs as others have of theirs so there is no real way to sort out this mess and for now being different means i am subject to "treatment" that i personally consider to be both inhumane and unreasonable. so then for my own saftey it is better at this point in society to not tell anyone about my differences..... sorry that ended up really long.
01-08-2019 05:47 AM
@Eden1919 personally I think it is fine to be a lone wolf and not run with the pack on ideas of how the world supposedly works. I would consider myself to be a lone wolf in many ways as are my kidults. If that means I am strange or odd I will embrace it as I would prefer to be a lone wolf any day than be one of the pack.
01-08-2019 04:00 PM
@greenpea i mean i get that it is ok to not agree with others but sometimes it is infuriating and down right dangerous to stand out or to not go with what everyone else thinks and while i believe that it is fine for people to believe what i want any time i have ever tried to follow that i have been hurt or in trouble with others who dont share that belief. so it isnt so much about what i feel is morally right in this case it is more about trying to survive a world where others will hurt you for not blending in.
01-08-2019 04:02 PM
today things are not good in regards to this issue i feel really spaced out and i have a test tomorrow and heaps of classes and i am tired but i couldnt get to sleep last night and i just feel really not right and i cant get myself to study and idk what to do i want to cry but i kind of cant and everything feels like it is closing in around me and i dont even feel like me.
02-08-2019 04:29 PM
Hey @Eden1919 just checking in, how are you travelling now? We're all sitting with you and holding space alongside you Remember to reach out to supports if you need at anytime.
07-08-2019 09:42 PM
I am not feeling good and I am struggling to get any uni work done I couldn't even speak for a while today and I am trying but I don't feel right I can even describe it but I keep thinking I am not like real or that i am somewhere else that looks the same but isnt... I kept feeling like i should run away and hide today and I keep having flashbacks about stuff and I am just having trouble staying 'here' like i keep going to other places in my head only when i do i cant see where my body is sitting. and I am trying to ignore certain things and i keep telling said things that we cant 'talk' because it wouldnt be good for either of us and idk what to do I am trying but i cant focus on any of my uni work and i am really behind. this is a really bad time for this to start happening again I cant afford for things to go to crap again. i am so tired and no matter what i do i cant make it stop i am just so over this this cant happen again.
07-08-2019 09:59 PM
I am sorry to hear that you are going through a very tough time this evening. I hope you are able to look after yourself and and access some support tonight, including support from other members of the forum.
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