06-09-2019 04:53 PM
I just went to have blood taken & the lovely nurse started opening up about how her mother had passed away last week and explaining to me the process of her death-
how She felt she was guided there that day instead of her usual activities to be present to help her 92 year old mother cross over-
she explained how she was presenting with signs of dying & that the nurses there didn't notice - so she was able to help her mum- being a nurse & alert them-
- she explained how her mother started to become agitated & showed me the actions she was making & then explained how her mother then started to call out to her grandfather, her daddy, & other deceased members of her family & that she was no longer in this realm she was seeing her deceased relatives -& when she had whispered in her mums ear she was no longer hearing her
it was really special for her to share this with me- I felt extremely blessed & honoured .
espescially since I (& my daughte)-was kept away from my mother when she was dying of cancer-by her husband, my "step father" who is an evil NARCISSIT - so I was unable to shower my mother with love & comfort & ease her into the next realm - I was also unable to be there for my daughters father when he passed away 2months after my mother- because being from a different country- he was at his place of birth & it happened so quickly being brain cancer- my daughter & I were unable to say goodbye to him or be there to show him comfort & love also. These two things were great losses to my daughter & I - so hearing this nurse tell me of her story was Really touching & I appreciated it. It made me cry & she said " oh sorry I should not be talking about myself "- I told her- " no this is how WE ( society) SHOULD be talking to each other" & I thanked her for sharing.
Honestly that was the most honest, pure & lovely interaction I have had with a human since I can't remember when. (Apart from the amazing ppl on this site )
I think I was guided to her to hear her story today, just like she was guided to be with her mother- because it was only 2 hours previous I was crying in my shower feeling the depths of despair- thinking " I don't want to be here anymore " " I don't want to feel like this anymore" & feeling such deep deep depression *I am safe & not thinking of harming myself *
the nurse told me what she went through with her mother had changed the way she thought about spirituality & I was so happy to hear that- & our conversation reminded me of my own spirituality. Which IV been neglecting-
After I left I had a really great msg left on my voicemail.
Hopefully things are Looking up & I can drag myself out of this pit of depression & isolation- fingers crossed 🙌
Thanks for listening 💖
06-09-2019 06:33 PM
@Serenity1, that's a lovely story and an so glad you shared it with us. It was definitely meant to be and the lady shared it with the right person, she must have senses something as I doubt it is something you would open up to anyone about
I really hope it is something you can keep in your heart and mind when you are feeling down.
It's the nicest thing I have heard in some time Thanks again.
Take care 😊❤️
06-09-2019 06:40 PM
06-09-2019 06:57 PM
Welcome to the forum @Serenity1 even though sometimes the reason we post may not be easy or comfortable.
I hope you find more peace in your future, and serenity like your name.
20-09-2019 03:35 PM
Hi @Serenity1 , I've been meening to drop you a line to check in for a few days. Anyway, better late than never! I hope you and your daughter are doing okay and maybe no news is good news. Please check in and say Hi when you can. Take care
18-10-2019 10:38 PM
21-10-2019 08:50 AM
I am doing alright. BIt up and down to be honest. I've come off my meds and hoped for a littlre more change physically, but, its just not happening. Hard to stay motivated and positive.
I'm worried about my brother as he doesn't seem to care about me/parents the way he used to and I'm not really sure why. I think its probably his wife, but, I don't really know. Going to be a long week for Me with work as I have to trave 2 days to the city this week. Something I used to do all the time, but, find it harder to do these days.
It's really nice to hear from you.
Besides school stuff, how are you and your daughter doing?
21-10-2019 08:12 PM
22-10-2019 01:48 PM
Come off meds due to side effects (weight).
I was hoping that there would be further change and maybe my metabolism would bounce back a little quicker than it is.
It is quite hurtful about my brother, its not just Me, its my parents too.. he has a lot of people in his life where we are very isolated.
Relaxation these days I do diamond painting, I used to surf a lot when I was younger. I
haven't done that in a long while. It will just be nice to do nothing and not have to worry about or go to work for a few days. I also like to garden so I might make some efforts and get something happening there.
I am glad your daughter is doing so well. I'm sorry you struggle with agrophobia and cptsd. You have mentioned it before and I imgine it really complicates and makes things very hard for you. I hope you don't have any other hard things come up and you can settle down to a more stable and normal way of living.
Maybe you can do some art with your daughter or just for yourself. It's not the same as doing something in a group environment or class, but, its a good way for you to bond with your daughter and help you cope. In time maybe you can reach out to the hospital and let them know you might be interested in doing something in the future, I'm sure they will have another class you might get involved with. Another option might be local libraries as they could be smaller groups and maybe that is easier for you to manage. Just a thought.
Don't be too hard on yourself, its not the end of the world and you have had a fair bit going on that you have mentioned here and I'm sure a lot more that I don't know about. Hang in there
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