Lived Experience Forum

[outlander]

Hi everyone, 

i feel like my mh constantly affects everyone else particularly the person i care for. 

Does anyone have any tips on how to stop my own mh issues affecting other people?

[Shaz51]

my sister @outlander 

that is tricky my sister  as mr shaz thinks his MH is affecting me 

I try to assure hime that it is not affecting me 

but he still thinks it does xx

i feel like my mh constantly affects everyone else particularly the person i care for. --- how my sister xoxoxo

[outlander]

@Shaz51 I just get these feelings off everyone. I cant be in a bad mood or anything otherwise im the worst person. if I act sad or even if im sitting in my bedroom watching a movie like ive been doing a lot lately I get the what are you doing, whats wrong with you. pop will often say your obviously not happy here so put me in a nursing home.
I cant act anything but happy and cheerful but its exhausting being that way.
I thought home well actually its just a house to me should be a place where I can just chill out and breathe but I cant. I always have to watch what I say, how I act, what I do. its like being on surveillance all the time and just makes me more and more nervous being at home now.
pop is also very much a dibber dobber. by this I mean if he has a problem with me (so like if ive had a bad day) he will go on and on and on and over exaggerate to everyone I know.
mh isn't accepted in my family unit, I doubt it ever will and theres been a few times where mum or her partner have said stuff like you on those medications I told you to go off age ago (talking back when I went into hospital for mh) its always held against me.
I don't know how to constantly act happy or if im having a bad day not to allow it to affect others.

[Gazza75]

Hi @outlander ,

As @Shaz51 said, its a tough one.  Real hard.

Everyone has there ups and downs and your family should try and support you whatever you are going through.  It sounds like your pop makes it more diffucult than it might be otherwise.  I give him a pass as I'm pretty sure he doesn't really mean what he says a lot of the time.

I don't think being in a bad mood, sad or watching tv says anything about you as a person.  I would ignore it and focus on what you want to get out of each moment and day as best you can.  What do these critical people do to help you or others?  I bet its not anywhere near 1/2 of what you do.

Your mum and partner sound a little callous to Me.  I know that most people don't understand how hard and challenging living with or even being stigmatised by MH issues is.  It's hard to change that mindset if they are not open to change or willing to consider things.

My limited and not so helpful suggestion is to try and take care of yourself mentally and phsyically as best you can. 

Having your guard up 24/7 at home must be draining on both fronts.  I would try and relax on that front and recognise the zillion things you do rather than listen to others influence what they think you should be doing. 

We are all different.  Try and recognise the small wins that you get.

I don't know about acting happy all the time.. I can only say that trying to be upbeat and looking to see the positive in things may help interactions.  Being honest and vunerable is hard.  Anyway, take my thoughts with a grain of salt, i'm male and relationships aren't my forte. 

You are an awersome, caring person with a kind and good heart and that should count for a whole lot.

Gazza