Looking after ourselves
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19-11-2019 07:05 AM
19-11-2019 07:05 AM
Re: The Virtual Village - a space for parenting 'stuff'
Sending lots of love @Teej . I agree with @CheerBear about how important it is that your son get in and do some of the housework, not criticize you for what you haven't done. It's everyone's work who lives in the house, not just your job as the parent. After all, they all contribute to creating the work in the first place. Hope you're feeling a bit better this morning xx
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19-11-2019 07:08 AM - edited 19-11-2019 07:11 AM
19-11-2019 07:08 AM - edited 19-11-2019 07:11 AM
Re: The Virtual Village - a space for parenting 'stuff'
Hi @Sweet_cheeks hope today goes really smoothly for you and your son with his move and that it makes life better for both of you. Take care today.
@CheerBear thanks for the thanks! Some of my stories are not pretty but I tell them only in the hope they will help someone else - even if it's to avoid what I did. Have a good day.
Thinking of you and sending loads of love @Faith-and-Hope xx
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19-11-2019 07:25 AM
19-11-2019 07:25 AM
Re: The Virtual Village - a space for parenting 'stuff'
@eth Thanks Eth
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01-12-2019 01:30 AM
01-12-2019 01:30 AM
Re: The Virtual Village - a space for parenting 'stuff'
Hi parents! I just found this forum. I have just left an abusive relationship and my toddler and I have restraining orders in place. This is all new territory for me and I have so many anxieties about how to make sure she has the least amount of negative experience moving forward from this, I am still going through the legal system, and am trying to get my 2 yr old back into a normal sleep routine, she’s in my bed all the time, now, and I was wondering if there was any advice here? She needs to feel safe but I could do with some me time 😕
thankyou
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01-12-2019 05:50 AM - edited 01-12-2019 05:51 AM
01-12-2019 05:50 AM - edited 01-12-2019 05:51 AM
Re: The Virtual Village - a space for parenting 'stuff'
Hi @Loreli and welcome to the forum.
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01-12-2019 12:38 PM
01-12-2019 12:38 PM
Re: The Virtual Village - a space for parenting 'stuff'
Thankyou so much for your response @CheerBear !
I'm finding the same, that it's easier not to fight them with sleep. I don't mind her in the bed, I think it is helping both of us feel safe at the moment! I'm trying to get her bedtime routine more compact so that I can essentially get back up and watch tv or something for an hour or so after she has fallen asleep.
I'm so sorry to hear that you went through similar situations, my heart goes out to you and your kids. I want to ask if it gets easier, but also I don't know if I want to hear the answer
I have been doing the online course called parentworks, reccomended by my gp. I have found it really helpful so far, they go through different situations that apply to all ages. Its gov funded and university created, its a great resource. They go through quality vs quantity time, and positive attention at the best possible times to reinforce good behaviour, teaching emotional regulation, and Im up to learning how to do an age appropriate time out to de-escalate tantrums. Seems to be really good so far, and feels very 'non-judgey' if that makes sense.
I think a big thing for me at the moment is that I am so overwhelmed that I am buried in my ipad and over-encouraging her to watch TV and movies. I don't have the mental presence to remain present with her, I just get upset, or irritable, or dissociate. I feel so guilty about it. I am trying so hard to really process my emotions now, because in the past I have been very good at just shutting all the emotions down. That makes it look like I'm coping incredibly well from the outside, but then I will end up with a serious deppressive or anxiety episode months down the line. I want to model normal emotions to my daughter, and I know I have to feel it to get through it, but god it's not easy. I will give parentline a ring, thankyou for that!
Sorry this is a very patchy response, I'm all over the place!
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02-12-2019 06:19 AM - edited 02-12-2019 06:41 AM
02-12-2019 06:19 AM - edited 02-12-2019 06:41 AM
Re: The Virtual Village - a space for parenting 'stuff'
Hey @Loreli. It's good to see you again. It's very OK to feel a bit all over the place. We do all over the place well here 🙂
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28-03-2020 01:34 PM
28-03-2020 01:34 PM
Re: The Virtual Village - a space for parenting 'stuff'
Hello @CheerBear , @Loreli , @Sweet_cheeks , @eth , @utopia
@Former-Member, @Determined , @Ant7 , @BlueBay , @Wanderer , @frog , @Smc , @Peri , @Mrsjones , @Snowie , @greenpea
sending you hugs and encouragement
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28-03-2020 01:38 PM
28-03-2020 01:38 PM
Re: The Virtual Village - a space for parenting 'stuff'
how are you going @Ant7
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28-03-2020 01:46 PM
28-03-2020 01:46 PM
Re: The Virtual Village - a space for parenting 'stuff'
Thanks @Shaz51
Sending love and hugs back 💖