Lived Experience Forum

[Adge]

@Former-Member 

Less than 60 people have this Corona Virus - in all of Australia.

The entire country.

I am very concerned at a Figure of 30,000 being quoted on this Forum - in relation to the Corona virus.

Quoting figures like that Promotes Hysteria & Panic.

Also saying "We must be prepared" (said on Forum) - promotes & maintains this Panic shopping (buying), & feelings of panic & hysteria in general - which are already the cause of the problem (attitudes).

Adge

[Former-Member]

The trouble that I feel is like a weighted thing right on top of me. I just want to go home. I am so very unhappy, perhaps grief, I don't know. 

2 years ago I went to the doctors to get some blood work done. Reason for that is because I was starting a whole plant based diet and they recommended that we get like cholesterol checked and that sort of thing. So we could monitor changes that result from this way of eating.

Whilst there at the doctors other things came up. Like the fact I had had no period for over 10 years. And I was not at the age of menopause. I also was obese. Had a large lump on my neck, had high blood pressure too. I knew my BP was high so this is one of the reasons for seeking out a way to get super healthy. It may have been perhaps 4 years ago. Not sure now. 

Anyway this visit to the doctors ( which I don't normally see any doctors) started a numerous amount of tests. I even struggled seeing doctors, like verbally speaking to people often is scary for me. It was do hard to see all these people. The things they said to me promoted fear in me.

I will come back and write in here again. I have to go now

[Former-Member]

My hubby asked me to make scrambled eggs for him. It was a effort because all I want to do is curl up in a ball and cry. Sometimes I feel God's hand upon me saying its OK sweet girl, my precious daughter. I will never leave or forsake you.

My head hurts today so this made it even harder to make the scrambled eggs. 

Anyway all those tests showed I had 2 large masses on both of my ovaries, ubnormal cells in my uterus. All the doctors I saw implied that it was cancer. Everything they said promoted more fear in me. Like there own fear of it somehow got sucked into me. Like I took on all there feelings. They suggested I get a complete hysterectomy, removing the ovaries as well. They could not give me a definite answer as to whether I had cancer or not. The only option that they could offer was the major surgery. And then they could do a biopsy on the cells then.

The thing is for quite a few years before hand maybe even 15 years ago. I was drawn to healing the body through natural ways. I was interested in this a lot. And I had already read up on cancer and other chronic illness. I just had a interest in this way of health. 

Anyway I declined their suggested major surgery. Don't think they liked me doing that. And it was a hard thing for me to tell them. Because like I said I struggle verbally speaking and I hate any conflict. A couple of the doctors treated me like I was stupid. But I had a peace about my decision. I was phoned up several times and mail came by registered post to my place from them. 

This is my body and I have a choice as to what I do with it. Anyway some of the strategies I was implementing was shrinking these masses. One quite a lot. And I was feeling so very healthy and fit. 

[Former-Member]

Then last year I struggled a lot with my marriage and some other things in life. Then I turned to eating food for comfort again. This was my problem before as well. Whenever I struggled with sadness or felt like no one cares about me, had rejection issues I would go to chocolate and hot potato chips for a quick fix. In hope it would somehow make me feel better. I was still eating mostly healthy plant food. But just eating blocks and blocks of chocolate. I put on the weight that I had lost through so much effort before. This made and still makes me feel so very discouraged. As I was starting to feel good with how I looked, like comfortable. I always struggled with feeling so very ugly. And I was feeling encouraged about the healing that was happening within my body.

Anyway I am troubled about it all now, like perhaps those masses have grown again because of the bad choices I made eating all that chocolate. I have not been back to the doctors since because of all that fear from last time. And because they will most likely pressure and harass me again. I still know within me that they way I have chosen to heal is tight for me. Like a deep instinct 

[Former-Member]

Dear @Former-Member 

I am reluctant to respond to your posts this morning, because this Worry Room thread says "no responses please".

But everything that you have just written over the 3 posts, does require a response and I can feel your fear and pain around all this.

Can I ask if you have a thread of your own, where I can reply to you on?  If you dont, how would you feel about opening a new thread and reposting all this there?  You could copy and paste, to save writing it all out again.

If you need help with opening a new thread, please just ask for assistance.

Sherry  💖

[Former-Member]

I feel this is a really good place to write all this down. On sane here. I do not have many people in my life with which I can share with. I used to talk with my older sister a little when we walked together. But she is having her own struggles and I am not sure if I should mention what is going on with me. Her struggles that she has told me about, makes me feel so very sad, like me heart breaks. Even now as I write this, my heart hurts for her. I cannot stand the thought of people I love hurting.

Then my younger sister has cancer, and has recently had surgery for this. So I am concerned for her also. And also sad because our relationship is not very close. But I desire it to be. But not know how to fix it. And perhaps she does not want to be close to me anyway. 

The one friend I have is also struggling with many issues in her life. This also breaks my heart. As I care so much for her. And I do not know if she truly knows how much I care.

My husband also spent the last few days in hospital. He had a stress test and collapsed near the emergency department. The doctors said he did nnot have a heart attack. He is a shift worker and often works Overtime. All that happened to him feels heavy in my heart. And our marriage is struggling also. So much sadness within that. So much aloneness in that. So much rejection. Grief I am thinking. 

[Former-Member]

I really feel for you @Former-Member  ... with so much happening.

Like I mentioned above however, we are not meant to respond here.

I really want to see you receive the support and advice you need and deserve.

Can you please open a new thread and post all this there.  Then people will be able to respond appropriately.

Please let me know if you need assistance with opening a thread, as I dont believe you have opened one before.

Or else email the sane managers or moderators @Former-Member  for help with opening a thread.

Sherry 💕

[Jupiter]

Hi there @Former-Member 

It sounds like there is a lot going on for you and that you're looking for some support on the forums. As @Former-Member is saying, the nature of this particular thread "Worry room - Get it out, and walk away : No responses please" is that people get things off their chest but other forum members don't reply. 

Perhaps it would be helpful to start a thread here in Our stories where other people can reply to you and you can chat back and forth. It's up to you though. Like Sherry said, if you would like help doing this, you are welcome to send us an email at team@saneforums.org.

Cheers,

Jupiter

[Former-Member]

Thankyou @Former-Member. Thanks heaps for caring. I read it in your words.

And no I really did not want to start my own thread. My heart and head is just not in the right place is all. Just needed to vent all what I wrote out in here. Just to feel some relief from all this turmoil within me. Like I just want to dump it all in this particular thread. And hopefully not pick it up again. 

Thanks heaps @Former-Member 

[Former-Member]

Thanks heaps @Jupiter.