01-12-2018 07:11 PM
I spent 3 weeks in hospital and fell behind in my studies. Now I have to go into college during the school christmas break to catch up. I've hit the ground running ever since discharge. I am not allowed to rest if I need to as my Mrs gets angry if I am tired from medications. She wants me to party and drink and be merry all the time. That's just not me anymore. She is Christmas mad and wants me to get into a celebratory mood. I hate Christmas! It is a major trigger for me and no matter what I say she doesn't listen. I want to run and hide from Christmas activities but I am not allowed to. Instead I shed tears in private because I am estranged from my family and won't have any time at Christmas with them.
I just feel so overwhelmed and exhausted and it is only 48 hours since discharge.
01-12-2018 08:25 PM
Hi @Queenie I know how you feel I’ve been in hospital for 2 weeks snd discharged yesterday. It’s really difficult when you want one thing and your partner isn’t listening which makes things even more harder fir you. You’re prob still getting adjusted to leaving hospital I kniw for me it takes a little time.
Can you explain to your partner how Christmas triggers you.
I understand you wanting to run away from it sll.
I feel for you. Pls take care xx
02-12-2018 01:13 AM
@Queenie. Sounds like you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself. Well you, and your Mrs.
Take a breath. Take a breather. One thing at a time to think about.
And doesn't your Mrs know alcohol and mental health don't mix? Just saying.
02-12-2018 03:45 PM
Sending warm wishes @Queenie that you can find a way to get your Mrs to understand and accept how it is for you. You have support here.
05-12-2018 01:18 PM
Thanks everyone for your replies. They truly mean a lot to me to know I have support out there in forum land.
I went to a rock concert with my Mrs that I had purchased tickets for months ago and while she bought me alcohol to drink, I didn't touch it. I don't want to return to the hospital anytime soon and still feel rather fragile at the moment. She wants me to wrap all these Christmas gifts I have bought but I don't feel like it. The jollyness of the season just evades me. She knows Christmas is a major trigger for me but she is refusing to give in. I tried to get into the spirit by buying some lights for the tree outside in the yard and while they look really pretty, I just feel hollow inside.
I am on a new antipsychotic and my voices now are only sparingly present. It feels like there is something huge missing from my life and I cannot put my finger on what it is. I went to college yesterday for the first time since being discharged from hospital and it was just really weird. Everybody was acting super nice to me (which is a nice change) but it was like totally over the top (oh well I am still very suspicious of people but hey that's the schiz coming out in me). I am planning on taking respite stays during the Christmas break (if I can) and hopefully things will work out.
Anyhoo that's about all for now. Thanks for listening.
07-12-2018 03:37 PM
My world has come crashing down and I have suffered a major betrayal. Apparently I am a very selfish person. I don't like to think that I am and try my best all the time. Perhaps that is why I am easily overwhelmed. Right now I am not in a good place at all and will probably return to hospital in the next few days.
I have learned something though, the only person you can truly trust is yourself and when that doesn't happen either you're screwed.
I think hospital is the best place for me. I am going to request ECT for my ongoing depressive symptoms.
07-12-2018 03:41 PM
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