Something’s not right
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08-03-2021 10:07 PM
08-03-2021 10:07 PM
Re: Darkness
Have I told you how wonderful you all are!!! The support, love and encouragement you all give me still blows my mind and makes my heart swell. Thank you for being amazing human beings. @Lee82 @greenpea @Emelia8 @Anastasia @Shaz51 @outlander @Zoe7 @Eve7 @Sans911
Things have been rough since I spoke with you all last night. Flashbacks are now happening all day not just at night. I was holding on tight the last piece of my femininity, my long hair but a recall of what happened with my client triggered the flashbacks and I couldnt handle the feeling of it on my head and having hubby touch me or my hair is sending me into meltdown. Now I have short hair a pixie cut I guess and while it has calmed me it's causing a lot of issues. There is not enough medication to calm me right now.
Another issue I have found out that my privacy here may have been compromised and I have a very unsafe feeling. There has been a feeling that someone may knows me ( irl )for a while now and posts here have coincided with texts and calls amd it makes me super uneasy. I know that I have shared way too much so I take responsibility for that. I have talked with the Sane team and am currently weighing up the options they have given me. I will let you know what I decide to do. I won't be leaving the site but I need to feel safe as well.
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08-03-2021 10:13 PM
08-03-2021 10:13 PM
Re: Darkness
Oh @Former-Member 😔🌼🌸
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08-03-2021 10:21 PM
08-03-2021 10:21 PM
Re: Darkness
Sending love 💙
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08-03-2021 10:23 PM
08-03-2021 10:23 PM
Re: Darkness
My love I am in tears right now. My heart is breaking for you. I have no words right now except to say I love you and will always love and care about you. You are my beautiful Angel
I understand the need to feel safe especially here when that is the main goal of the forum. I am very sorry if it has been compromised and hope with every being of my body and soul that this doesn't mean you will be leaving the forum.
@Former-Member
FB are the lowest of lows and the worst thing in the world and my heart hurts for you hun. I know what you are feeling and I am so very sorry it ended with you having to cut your hair. 😢😢
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08-03-2021 10:41 PM
08-03-2021 10:41 PM
Re: Darkness
Oh no @Former-Member ... I am sorry to hear that your privacy may have been compromised.
Yes of course you have to feel safe, and you need to do whatever you have to ... in order to BE safe.
Let us know what you decide.
Also ... I love the sound of your new pixie cut hairdo. You have not lost your femininity at all ... pixie cuts are SOO feminine looking. Glad it has resulted in calming you, though devastated that it has caused other issues for you.
I hope you can resolve your Sane account issues very soon. Much love to you dear lady.
Emelia 🤗💞☕🍦
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08-03-2021 10:49 PM
08-03-2021 10:49 PM
Re: Darkness
Thank you all for your support it means the world to me. I am waiting for night meds to kick in but it doesn't seem likely to happen. I am going to say goodnight however as I need to find something to calm me enough to sleep. Sending you all the best wishes for a decent nights rest hoping your Tuesday is bright amd loving. @Emelia8 @outlander @Anastasia @greenpea
@Lee82 , sweetheart I am not going anywhere, just have to work it out that's all. Love you 3000 to infinity and beyond Always Izzy ❤️❤️
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09-03-2021 08:43 AM
09-03-2021 08:43 AM
Re: Darkness
@Former-MemberHey beautiful wishing you love and kindness my dearest friend. You are indeed a wonderful lady. Love peaxxx
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09-03-2021 01:39 PM
09-03-2021 01:39 PM
Re: Darkness
Just popping in to say hi to all the wonderful people here. Life is testing us all right now, on many levels and all of us here are struggling with something or many things. When I can be here the support is wonderful and has kept me from doing harmful behaviours an number of times. This platform and the members here have been a important part of my road to recovery and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
This is one of the places we all know that understands the depth of pain, the roughness of the road to recovery. We all know that sometimes just waking up is enough, just remembering to eat is enough. What some of lose sight of is that at no matter how much life has damaged us we are enough. We deserve happiness, we deserve love, we deserve to be safe. My wish for us all is that while we all are walking our own paths, some of us ahead of the the pack and some falling behind, is that we all walk hand in hand, supporting and caring for each for as long as it takes for all of us to find peace. I very much hope for all of us that peace can come sooner then later.
I am feeling very disconnected today, I feel like I have lost my path. I am having fbs but I am not sure they actually happened or a product of an over active imagination and trauma. I have to start writing them down to discuss in my MH appointments as we start to pull apart my very essence of who I am. This is not going to be easy, I have dark moments where I have not looked in years, I know that there are aspects of myself yet to be discovered by me (they have spoken up in MH appointments) what this means I am
unsure. I choose to write this this afternoon rather than Indulge in harmful behaviours. I choose now to be in more control of my thoughts and my actions. The people that have mistreated me in my life have stolen enough, I am taking control of what is left of me and I will start to build a life I can be proud of. I know I will stumble along the way, I may even go backwards at time and that is ok. If recovery was easy then none of us would know each other.
If you made it this far 👏👏👏👏👏 thank you all Sending everyone love and light.
@greenpea @Emelia8 @Lee82 @outlander @Anastasia @Sans911 @Zoe7 @Eve7 @MDT @Judi9877 @Angels333 @Shaz51 @Maggie @NatureLover @Faith-and-Hope @Lostandalone @frog @mudsum @Purplerain @Owlunar @The-red-centaur @Eden1919 @Snowie and to anyone who has ever helped me in anyway here. ❤️
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09-03-2021 01:47 PM
09-03-2021 01:47 PM
Re: Darkness
Thinking of you and thank you for everything you have said because it resonated with me a lot. I share many of the same sentiments too my friend. What a journey we have all been on and here we are connecting through the forum. Its important to remember this I believe.
Take care my friend and see you around on your journey.
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09-03-2021 01:56 PM
09-03-2021 01:56 PM
Re: Darkness
@Former-Member 👂👀🙏🤗💞