Lived Experience Forum

[BlueBay]

@Emelia8 

Thanks ❤️

I was reacting to a comment hubby made this morning 

I feel bad ☹️ 

I think I might do some knitting to keep busy 

what are you doing?

[Emelia8]

Hey @BlueBay ... dont feel bad about having a vent.  Thats what you opened this thread for. 😊

Knitting sounds good.  Its inside weather here ... been raining all day so far, since about 6am.  Will likely get wetter as the day progresses.  In fact its predicted to be wet for the next 8 days.  I hope to get onto some of my diamond painting this afternoon.  Not been doing much of it lately ... too many medical appointments (both hubby and myself) and too many stresses happening.  But I would like to finish this one before I go into hospital for my surgery.  And thats happening in just over 2 weeks.  Yikes!  But right now ... I am about to get some lunch happening.  Toasted ham, cheese and tomato sandwiches, followed by watermelon.  It must seem so quiet there for you with little A away with her Dad today.  

Emelia 🌸

[BlueBay]

Hey @Emelia8 

it's very quiet without little A.

I went for a short walk. But both hips are very sore. And all I can take is meds which does nothing.

Watching  the footy tonight. My team isn't in it. I'm going for Geelong.

hope you're ok tonight Em. Thinking of you xxx

[BlueBay]

I have had enough of lockdowns restrictions and control of covid 

I thought today was going to be a good day with positive results on less restrictions- but oh no it's still not happening. 

I want to see my parents and  so much want to see my dad 

I feel I'm not in control and it feels horrible 

it's like the premier is dangling a carrot to keep us longer in lockdown 

im angry sad emotional frustrated 

now we have to wait a few more days 

it's not fair 

[BlueBay]

@Emelia8 @Meowmy @MDT @Owlunar @Faith-and-Hope @Maggie @Shaz51  and others I have forgotten

I don't know what to do: i am frozen with so much fear and axiety

I want to look for another job.  I hate my current job.  So much politics and preferences given to certain staff (eg. family members)

I feel shite and feel used and feel that this will be my job unless i leave.  But - I am so anxious about looking for work, then applying, then possibly an interview, then possibly new job.

I saw a  receptionist job which i wouldn't mind applying for - but i just can't do it.  I am not confident at all.  i self doubt this job that i could do it before even applying for it.  i def talk myself out of positions.

so then what do i do - stay where i am and hope that next year things may change.  that cleaning baskets will not be my only job.

i dont know.  i wish i was a strong confident women, but unfortunately i am not 😞

oh and another thing - my daughter's ex met a new lady on tinder 1 week after splitting up.  she moved in the week after and today they got married!!! Seven months of knowing each other.  she is from overseas, so apparently he told my daughter that is was the only optioin for her to stay.  She is good with A as she is a nanny. 

We are shocked becasue he never wanted to marry my daughter, doesnt' believe in weddings.  anyway she can have him, i am so glad my D left when she did.  so much better off with this jerk of a guy. who only gives my D $36 monmth for child support.  how disgusting is that!!!  

[MDT]

@BlueBay

You are stromg. I see it. Your current job doesn't reflect you. Its the same with me in that regard.

Hearing you though friend

[Shaz51]

sitting with you my sister @BlueBay 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hugs and hugs @BlueBay ......

Maybe try to take baby steps with the jib applications and not let your mind run beyond the next step, if you can ?  

For instance:

1.  Just start writing a job application for that receptionist job, but that is it ..... you are just writing the application - not sending it - just writing it.

2. If and when you get the application written, then, and only then, consider whether you will send t.  That is not actually sending it ... it's just considering whether you might like to send it or not.

3.  Step three is to actually send it, without expecting a response, interview, call-back ..... none of that.  The baby step is just to send it, nothing more.

4.  If they do happen to respond, then you have the possibility of a step four - writing an answer, not sending it  - just that - writing an an answer.  That is all step four is .....

Does that make sense ?  You break it down into little, bitty, independent steps, and you remain in control of each one.

I hope this helps.

And yeah, I reckon your D is better off without the J 👍

[BlueBay]

I'm so f,,...g ANGRY with everyone including myself 

I'm hopekess

usekess 

im over this lufe 

compleyrky 

[Jynx]

Hey @BlueBay, here with you. What kind of support do you need right now?