17-11-2019 06:58 PM
17-11-2019 09:23 PM
Hi @EOR It's weird that the notification for your post (tag) just came right now - when the post says that you wrote it 5 hours ago. I don't get that.
The baby Java finches (about 4) are doing well. 2 are out sitting on the floor.
Just as well that it's in my aviary. If they sat on the ground in nature, they would get eaten in 5 minutes flat.
My childhood SA abuser (cousin) tried repeatedly to phone me on Friday afternoon (again) - went into a tail-spin.
I've had no contact with this person for the past 9 years (except seeing him at Dad's Funeral), yet he is narcissistic (totally selfish) & insistent.
Work colleagues insulted me repeatedly on Friday (after the stress of my car repairs already).
Then I've had one of the most wiped-out (totally exhausted) weekends on record - probably due to too many triggers.
I've been trying all weekend to pick myself back up.
The baby Javas are lovely - my neighbour insisted on coming to see them at 7.00am yesterday morning. It was lovely that she wanted to see them, but far too early.
17-11-2019 09:57 PM - edited 17-11-2019 11:55 PM
Oh @ Adge that's horrible what happened to you Friday, at work, and the # # # abuser trying to come back. Don't you let him! Any wonder you had a bad weekend, a PTSD reaction most definately. Bug triggers, huge!
It takes me anywhere from 2-14+ days to recover from similar upsets.
You be gentle with yourself Adge xox
About being tagged, I went back and edited (correced) that post , which then gets resent, sorry, I fell asleep typing that post.
So glad your little finches are doing well 🧡💛💚💙🐥
17-11-2019 10:25 PM
Thanks so much @EOR
You put it into perspective for me.
I've never thought of triggers bringing a PTSD reaction before - you're right.
I also minimise the effects these shocks (triggers) have on me - because virtually no-one face to face affirms my experiences or my reactions. Especially not my siblings or Mum.
They're all in massive denial - which undermines my self confidence.
So when I feel totally wiped out (triggered), like all this weekend - it comes as a shock.
Because I often don't see the connection (cause & effect) - so I've been questioning myself all weekend.
"Why do I feel this bad"? "What's wrong with me"? "I've goto perk up" etc etc.
Thanks @EOR You're a breath of fresh air - I see the light when someone explains things better (or affirms my experience).
17-11-2019 11:49 PM
18-11-2019 12:32 AM
19-11-2019 07:50 AM - edited 19-11-2019 12:34 PM
My hips have seized up the morning... all sorts of new aches and pains going on lately. Hard to keep mind off it. Depressed people are hard to be around, i get it, sorry for that peeps, don't know my way out. Kinda stuck to it, nothing more can be done really, since it's all up to me..
My horrible bro2 sent nasty letter, wishing I was dead. He's in thick with sis who won't talk to me (they have each other), the youngest 2bros so caughbup in their drugs, schizophrenia delusionals and monee wows they can't even ask how I am. Bro2+sis (who have no time for Bro3+4) Probably hoping I die so they get to split my share of inheritance when dad passes. That's where their heart seem to be. I sure could do with family, but not this kind of treatment. Ive gven them enough of me. I was alwwys babysitting them for mum as a child... bottles and nappies everywhere... Now, my self imposed exile (🤔or did they run me out of town), either way, here I am on my own still searching for purpose, somewheres to love and be loved, for more than a meetings worth. Got a feeling it's never coming.
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